Almost exactly one year ago, Laura came to stay with me for a week while her husband was in rehab. It had been a tumultuous few years for her family, dealing with the daily struggles of alcoholism and all its unattractive accessories---infidelity, lies, betrayal, anger, hostility, broken hearts and lives. Yet the thing that struck me the most during her time in our house (and during this past year) is her resilient sense of humor. She has not lost the ability to laugh: at herself, the situation, the difficulty of life, all of it. Laura continues to search for the humor amongst the trials of life. And I love her for it. Laughter is a gift from God. It is the mechanism He provided to release the pressure when the going gets tough. Oh sure the tough might get going too but it’s a hell of a lot easier when you’re belly laughing along the way.
I fell asleep thinking about her and woke up today with a smile on my face. I suddenly remembered what I had forgotten for so long. That life should be lived intentionally. I don’t mean you should get up with grim determination, grit your teeth, put your head down and get through it like you’re tolerating each day and just waiting for the rain to fall. I also don’t mean that we should keep everything orderly and predictable and tightly controlled in an attempt to prevent any bad things from happening. As if that would actually work anyway. Rather I mean we should hold on loosely without letting go. I think there was a song about that in the 80s.
I hope every day I stay open to the possibility of a miracle. I hope I find the humor in the human condition. That I’m strong enough to laugh when crying would be so much easier……….. God, it is said, delights in us. He takes joy in His people. ……..I have a hard time with people of faith who view their relationship with the Divine as a constant battle. Armed and ready at every second. Now I know that some really good things in this life have to be fought for and personal experience tells me the price is sometimes pretty high; but the imagery of God as warrior constantly racing into battle flies in the face of my every experience with Him. He is for me loving and accepting the way my grandmother was. In fact, I often thought my grandmother Bessie was a pretty good likeness of God--warm cookies, a love pat and a soft bed at the end of the day. Peace and comfort from the skinned knees and disappointments we all inevitably encounter in life.
So just for today let’s be open. Intentional. And find a reason to laugh.
MD
*By the way, Laura and her family are doing quite well with a year of sobriety and a lot of laughter under their belts.
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